Sleep

Well yesterday I took a nap for about three hours. Then we went and eat dinner with my wife's parents. Afterwards we came home and couldn't stay awake so I went to bed at eight. I must have been tired, I didn't wake up until nine o'clock this morning. It's been hard waking up, I still feel drained.
Better wake up though, I've got to be at the gym at eleven. It'll have to be a short work out since we have a SWAT meeting at noon.
Hopefully this afternoon I'll be able to get back to work on my shed..............

Long Day

Well it's now 3:20pm on Tuesday and I've now been awake since around 12:00 noon yesterday. I haven't gotten much sleep so bear with me if I make some off statements.
This morning after getting off work at six I came home, took a shower and headed back to the office to help the negotiator for the day. I spent most of the day on a "throw phone" with different negotiator on different scenarios. I have to give them credit, they're good at what they do. It was a good experience to be able to see their side of the process when the team is called out.
Yesterday I was able to make it back to the gym since I'm feeling better. The workout was fairly short. We did four rounds of the following: 10 cleans with a 95lb bar, 10 kettlebell swings with each arm (45lb), 10 pull-ups and 10 thrusters with a 65lb bar. After getting done with that we ran a mile. Well it wasn't much of a fast run, my legs were dead after the workout.
After getting done at the gym I came home and rested for a little bit and then went out and was able to work on the lawn with my wife. We were able to get the yard mowed and weed-eated. I also was able to burn all the wood scrapes that I have from working on the shed. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to work on the shed a little, for now I'm going to go lay on the couch and rest........

Phone Calls......
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This is how I feel.....
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Still Sick

I woke up this morning around 10:00am after a long night of tossing and turning. The medicine I took last night didn't seem to help a whole lot other than making me feel like I have a hangover.
My head is so stopped up and my shoulders and my back are sore. I had to miss SWAT training today, which sucks. I feel like a kid at school that had to stay in during recess.
I don't know yet but I think I'll try to go into work tonight, maybe getting out and about will help..........

I Hate Being Sick

I've been getting sick for the last few days. I am getting a head cold and the body aches that go with it. I thought I could just let it run its course, but it seems to only be getting worse. Yesterday I made it to the gym but last night I had to break down and take some medicines, which I hate doing. Worst thing was the medicine didn't seem to do anything except make me feel half-drunk, which is why I don't like to take medicine in the first place. So last night I tossed and turned all night and didn't get much sleep. Today I guess that I'm going to have to skip the gym and I might have to miss work tonight.
I took some more medicine today, a daytime cold and cough. If it doesn't get any better I guess tonight I'll have to miss work, the first time since I've started working at the Sheriff's Department. I guess that if I have to miss work I'm going to break down and take some Alka-Seltzer Plus night-time cold medicine. That usually works pretty good, but I'll be down all night and most of tomorrow so I might have to miss SWAT training which is at 2:30pm tomorrow.
For now I'm going to go and try to take a nap and maybe I'll feel better....................

Thank You

I'm not a real good person at talking with people face to face on a personal level. So I'm going to write a little. I would like to say "Thank You" to my wife.
Over the week-end we went to my family reunion. One the first night two of my cousins, which are a little younger than me, were drinking. Not saying that there is anything wrong with drinking, but they were drinking whiskey and way too much of it. Well one thing led to another and they started getting loud and before long they were into it and threatening to beat each other up. They were both told to take it outside and they went out but neither was willing to be the one to start a fight so they just stood outside cursing at each other and then finally came back inside and eventually passed out. Not that this incident was unusual, most of the family drinks, so there is always some kind of disturbance.
Seeing my two cousins got me to thinking about when I was younger and how I would go to the family reunion and be right beside them all drinking, usually until I would pass out. And if it hadn't been for my wife showing me that there was more to life then getting intoxicated, I would probably still be drinking right along with them and would not be in the place I'm in today. So that is what the thank you is for. My wife has helped me become a better person, not perfect but a lot better and for that "THANK YOU".............

This a picture my mom gave me yesterday. I'm on the left and that's my brother holding my sister. Boy check out the pants. I probably thought they were cool back then......
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Back on Track

Today my daughter is feeling better and went to school, so I was able to get about three hours of sleep before going to the gym. I'm starting to get a sore throat, but it felt good to get back into the gym since I haven't been since last Wednesday. Today at the gym we worked on legs. Fist we did leg presses, I'm down quit a bit on weight now around 540lbs on my last lift. Next we went to squats, only ended up with 195lbs. Leg extensions were after that with it followed by angled squats. We also did some lifts, calve extensions, calve raises and weighted lunges and to finish it off my partner decided we needed to do 100 crunches. I needed to get back into the groove of things since we have a SWAT training day on Friday. Our training day doesn't start until 2:30 in the afternoon so I'm sure it'll be nice and hot.
I haven't gotten to work on my shed anymore yet. This afternoon I have to get the girls and go in to town and pick my wife up from work and go to my nephews pre-school graduation. So I hated to get outside and get started and have to stop, so I just came home from the gym and have been hanging out waiting on the girls to get out of school.......

As you can tell I didn't have much to do today either. Ohh to be a kid again...........
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One of my oldest daughter's friend's took her sketch pad and drew a picture of her. I wish I could draw half as good as her or her friend......
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This is the house we stay at for my family reunion. I believe this was our 15th or 16th year to go there. The house has six bedrooms, eight bathrooms, a game room in the basement with a pool table, poker table and ping-pong table. On the back of the house is an indoor pool. We always have a great time in the pool, some one always ends up thrown in with their good clothes on......
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Back to Normal

The family reunion went well. We had about 35 people show up, it was a smaller crowd this year. Saturday we went on a canoe trip and this year no one flipped their canoes, don't know how that happened. Didn't get a whole lot of sleep while I was up there, but it was worth it.
Went back to work last night, kinda slow but Sunday nights tend to be. I got lucky with court, apparently a plea was arranged so I thought I was going to sleep most of the day, wrong. My youngest daughter must have caught a touch of the flu, so she's been at home with me. I hate it when my kids are sick, you feel so frustrated when you can't make it all better for them.
I did get to sleep for about 4 1/2 hours so that's good........

Time Off

Well this is the last chance I'll have to post until I return on Sunday night. I've been working on my shed all morning and now I'm going to go up and take a shower, pack and get the car loaded to go to my reunion. It'll be nice to have the next three days without having to think about if I'm wearing my pager or when I'm going to have to start getting ready to go to work.
Talk to everyone later, have a good week-end........

Time Off

I don't have to be back to work until Sunday night at 10:00pm, so right now I'm in a pretty good mood. Tired but in a good mood.
Yesterday the workout at the gym was harsh, at least for me, my calves are sore this morning. First we did 20 calve extensions then 20 weighted squats, 20 jumping pull ups, 20 swings with a 45lb kettle bell followed by 20 lunges holding two 45lb kettle bellls, 20 push presses with 65lb bar, 20 back extensions, 20 rows, 20 burpees and last 20 sit ups. Once we got done with the first round then we did the same thing once more and then followed by the same routine only with 10 reps at each station. It sure wears you out, but you get a good feeling once your done and look back at it.
After getting done at the gym I then went to lunch with my wife and then since I hadn't been to sleep I came home and crashed until around five. Then I got up and went to work on my pole barn/storage shed that I'm building in the back yard. It's not too big, 16 feet by 24 feet, just some place to put the boat, my truck and to store some junk. My wife and I worked on it until around nine last night. We were able to get all the 4X4 post set and concreted in, so that's a good start.
Once we got done with that we had to go into town to pick up the Mazda. It got fixed yesterday, so we're back to having two vehicles running, so that's good.
Today I've got to be at the gym at 10:00am, then at my SWAT meeting at 12:00pm and then I'll come back home and start on the barn again. Then tonight I'll have to take time to start packing for my family reunion.
Each year my family will meet at a house we rent and stay for about four days, so this year I was able to take time off work and we'll head up on Thursday and come home Sunday afternoon. It'll be nice to take a little time off and not have anything that I have to do or anywhere I have to be. Have almost forgot what that feels like..........

Car Trouble.....Again

I guess this is not my month for vehicles. During the week-end my patrol car also broke down. I went to go up a hill and got halfway up and it was like you put the car in neutral, it would just rev up. So I pulled off the side of the road and stopped, then it acted like it was going to drive just fine so I pulled back out and did alright until it hit around 35MPH and then it was just like putting it in neutral again. So now my regular patrol car sits on the lot waiting to go into the shop to get a new transmission and I'm in a spare unit. Luckily the spare that I got is the car I drove when I first started. I took most of my things out of my car and put it into the spare, but it's still not like having my car.

This week-end was also a busy one. We were constantly going somewhere, guess it's the full moon, HA HA. Last night wasn't too bad until around 4:00am this morning. By the time I got done at the scene and got back to the office and typed my five reports I was running 1 1/2 hour late, so right now I'm running on no sleep. I'm off tonight though, so I had planned on coming home and sleeping for about 3 1/2 hours before heading to the gym to meet my partner at 10:00am, but since I was running so late and didn't get home until 8:00am I just came in and took a shower and decided to write a little and just stay awake until after going to the gym. Guess I'm just dedicated...or just plain crazy.............

Continued Balance

Well I got to use my new mower on the yard, it was great. Now for the not so great. After mowing the yard I went in to the gym and after my workout I came out and my truck wouldn't start. After sitting there in the parking lot and cursing under my breath I finally got it started and got it home and now it sits in the driveway, dead just like are second car. To fill you in a little, my wife and I own three vehicles. Our new car is a 2004 Dodge Intrepid. Then we have a 1995, maybe 94, Mazda 626 and a 1993 Nissan 4X4 pick-up. The Mazda and the Nissan are paid for so we just keep driving them, only thing is that now both of them are broke down and if you remember, I'm no mechanic.
So this morning I came home from work and had to turn around and take my wife to her job so that I would have a vehicle to drive. So I guess that I'm fixing to have to do some mechanic work, wish me luck and sanity...........

This is a water color my daughter did.
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The Balance in Life

Well the last few days have been in total balance. It seems with each good thing that happened there was also bad things. First the other day I was contacted by a friend of mine that I have known since we were in the fourth grade. He now is an engineer and lives in Washington State, so it was good to hear from him, especially since I had lost his number. He called to tell me he was in town for a couple of days, which was good. But the reason he was in town was because his dad was going into surgery to have one lung removed due to cancer. His dad made it through surgery ok, but while the doctors were doing the surgery they found something else and took it out also and had it sent off for testing.
Next my sister contacted me and ask if I would go out to dinner with her and her family since her step-daughter is graduating high school. I was glad to get to see my sister since she had been so upset over me not going to my moms surgery. After dinner as we were leaving my sister gave me a letter in which she wrote that she felt as if I was trying to pull away from the whole family and that I was beginning to become a stranger to her. So in the future I'll have to make a point to start talking more to her.
Last and least, I finally got to buy a new riding lawn mower. I was like a sixteen year old getting a new car. Bad thing is that it has rained now for two days and the new mower is just sitting on the carport. I did at least get to start it up and make mow a small patch of grass in the yard before it started raining.
Most things this week have been in a balance, I myself do not feel that. I'm going to have to work on the balance in my life for right now my mind and body are not as one, think I've got too much on my mind right now. At least I got to post today, so that shows that I'm starting to get back into my routine and that I'm on the right track to gain my balance....

Black Sheep

To start off a while back my mom broke her elbow and had to have surgery on it. For some reason her elbow didn't heal right so they had to do another surgery, in which I didn't go to. I had SWAT meetings and then had to help with P.T. test make-ups for those that were unable to attend testing on test day. Not saying that I didn't have time to go by the hospital, I just didn't go. I knew that my sister was going to be there and what was the use of sitting at the hospital just waiting.
I know I probably sound cold, but you do not know the history of my family. When I was young my parents both drove an 18-wheeler together. At first my mom would only go with my dad during the summer while school was out and my younger sister and I would go to our grandparents, my older brother would sometimes go also. But once I got a little older my mom got to where she would go with my dad all the time and at times I would stay at home by myself and my sister would go to my aunts. I've stayed at different places, with family and friends, at times when my parents were gone. One year my parents were gone on Christmas which was kinda hard for me and I bet it was harder on my sister since she was younger then me.
I'm not trying to say that my parents were bad parents, they did what they did to make a living for our family. Now when I told my parents that I was getting married, I was told by my mom that I would not be getting any help of any kind from her and my dad and that once I moved out I was not moving back home, in which I didn't have any plans to move back in or ask them for any help. But what struck me wrong with that phrase was that my older brother had already moved out and went into Navy and came back home after being discharged and moved back in with my parents and later moved into a home they bought for him to live in.
After getting married and moving into my house that my Wife, her Family and I built, my Brother did come out and help on the first day of framing, my parents never seemed to have time to come and see my home, they were always too busy, so I told them that the day would come when they would want to see me and that I wouldn't be there and now that those times are coming everyone is looking at me like I'm the bastard child.
Back to my original story. Late in the afternoon of my mom's surgery I got a phone call from my sister which went as follows: Phone rings and I answer and say "Hello", then my sister states "just in case you might have been worried, mom made it through her surgery ok, I won't bother you any longer, bye" and then hung up.
Now maybe I'm in the wrong for not going to see my mom, but one of my major faults is that I hold a grudge and I told her the day would come that I wouldn't be there and the day of her surgery was one of those days.
To my sister, if you read this I'm not mad at you and I know that you were just mad because I didn't take time out to come by, but if it was you I would have made the time because I know you would have made the time for me............

LOVE

Well as you know, my mind starts thinking on the latest thing that I've heard about. The other day I heard that some one was "love sick" so as you could guess, that is what I have been thinking about. I have also heard it said that "it was love at first site". I personally don't think that can be possible. You might be physically attracted to some one at first site, but how could you just by site alone decide that a certain person would be your "true love"? For a "true love" is some one that you have an inner connection with and that is not possible by site alone, it takes time getting to know one another.
Back to being "love sick". It is funny how something that is suppose to make a person happy can have such bad effects on them when the other person's love in return is unknown. A person will lose sleep, can't eat, will have a hard time thinking straight and will some times even go into a depression.
The bad thing is that love is the one emotion, that I feel like, a person has the hardest time controlling. A person can control their emotions, but love always will strike a person from the blindside and they will not know what hit them until it is too late. Love can do different things considering the outcome of the other person's reaction to one's love for them. A person in love with some one that returns their love will become a better person and will find a certain balance in life, whereas a person who's love is rejected will generally fall into chaos and will believe that the world is coming to an end. All of us are different and will react to certain situations differently. Some will be able to overcome a rejection while others will struggle with that rejection for the rest of their life.
Luckily for me I have found my "true love" and that person returned my love and we have been now married for 13 years, so I believe that has a great effect on my balance with the universe.
Last thing and then I'll stop rambling. For those of you that have not had children, get ready that is a whole different level of love, one for which there is no getting over. Kids are precious and will always be in the heart of the parents no matter what, there is no getting away from it, not that you would want to.........

Tune-ups Needed

Well the new fuel filter didn't fix the car. Yesterday when I woke up my wife informed me that the car was sitting on the side of the road and that she couldn't get it started. So we took our other car down and tried to start it but the battery was dead. We then went back home and got some jumper cables and went back and the car started right up. My wife didn't even make it three blocks and the car died again and then we couldn't get it to start at all so we went back home and got our truck and a chain and had to pull it home. I did learn that the problem isn't in the fuel system like we thought, it's not getting any fire. So the car is now sitting in the driveway again and the my wife called the shop we use to see how much they think it's going to cost to fix it.

Meanwhile this morning at the gym our routine was going to be five round, for time, doing 20 pull-ups, 30 push-ups, 40 sit-ups, and 50 squats. After three rounds it was all I could do to keep myself from hurling. I even had to go and stand in the bathroom it got so close. I was able to get past the feeling and then do one more round before I had to call it quits.

So it looks like the car and I both are in need of tune-ups........