Continued Loss Of Sleep.....

Well as usual, I am running on a low amount of sleep. It seems to be par for the course when I'm on midnights. Yesterday I got a total of four hours of sleep and the day before that I was able to get a total of about five hours. So as you could guess, I'm pretty tired right now. Had to drink some hot chocolate to try and wake up. Hopefully today I'll be able to catch up a little. But if not, I only have one more night and then I'll be off for two.......

Lack Of Sleep....

As always when I'm on midnights, I am in need of sleep. I don't feel that the human body is made to sleep during the day. It would be nice if you could just shut down the world during the night, so that everyone could get some sleep. ...

My Grandson......

My grandson, Jayden Rayne, was born on Wednesday, May 13,2009 and weighed in at 8lbs 8.2ozs. Talk about making life good. Whenever I hold him, all my worries go out the window. Well at least most of them. I can't help but worry about his and my families health, but that a worry that everyone has I guess. If you could imagine, he spent his first night out of the hospital in my bed. Also I don't believe he has been put down yet. All I can say is: Let the spoiling began.....

Getting Tired...

Well it's 4:30am and I just got through drinking a cup of hot chocolate. I can't handle coffee, so I have to drink hot chocolate to help wake me up. It's not doing so well this morning, I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Good thing is I only an hour and a half to go. My daughter goes to the Doctor today for a check up and if she's not moving along as well as the Doctor likes, they are going to induce labor in the morning. So it could be getting close. I have a feeling that once Jayden gets here my sleep time will only get shorter, but the good times and memories will be worth it......

Better.....

Well things have been going pretty well the last few days. Of course, my grandson isn't here yet. The Doctor said that if he is not born by Wednesday they are going to induce labor, so it looks like he may be here in a couple more days. My wife bought her a tanning bed this last week. I never knew those things were soooo heavy. It took two days of work to get it into the house, new wiring pulled, and the downstairs room to be re-arranged for it. But now it's done and it doesn't look too bad. Still feel like I'm not getting enough sleep. Have I said........ I hate midnights.....

Lost...

As I have said before, I'm am going to be a grandpa any day now. And with that in mind, this should be some of the happiest times of my life, but at times I find myself locked in an inner struggle with myself trying to enjoy the day. It's not that I'm not excited about my grandson, I can't wait for him to get here and that is what makes the dark times seem more frustrating. I know I have it good in life but yet I find myself constantly looking for the negative in everything. At times it feels as if all the dark feeling I have are a vast ocean and I've lost my boat and instead of gliding over the bad feelings, I'm having to swim through them constantly working at treading away just to keep myself afloat and to be able to bask in the sunshine of goodness in my life. At times something will come along and cause a wave of darkness to crash over me and for a while I will not fight it and just slip down into the dark recesses. I know that this probably sound like I'm crazy, I'm just running on little sleep and will start rambling. But all and all I know now that I am beginning to see land in my future and will have to swim no longer and will be able to lift myself up out of my ocean of darkness and walk in the bright sunshine of my life and all will be good. I have always believed that you will not know light without some darkness. Guess I'm just going through a time to remind me how good I have it in my life..........

Old Picture..

I came across this picture I took a few years ago. I was working and found this laying in the parking lot of one of the ball fields here in town so I snapped a picture. Some people must not have much of a life.......

Still Waiting......

Well, my daughter is at full term and the Doctor says that Jayden could be born at anytime. It seems like he's never going to decide to come. Each night I go to work and figure I'm going to get that call, but it hasn't came yet. I know that having a child really changed my outlook on life, I wonder how much having my first grandchild will change it. I know he's not even here yet and he's making a difference in the way I look at things. It might sound funny, but at times I'll be doing stupid stuff and think, should I be acting this way, I'm fixing to be a grandpa. Who knows. I just know that I'm ready for him to get here and see what wonderfull changes he does bring into my life. And of course, I'm going to have to spoil him........